Author: Bev Lloyd

Over the past 30 years, I had counselling sessions. 

What stands out to me now is how clueless the counsellors were, how unhelpful. Nothing changed, I still had no idea why I was the way I was, had no idea how to make the grief and pain go away. Oh, and the anger.

It wasn’t until 10 years  ago I finally found a fantastic,inspirational therapist, who took me deep into my subconscious and made sense of it all. I didn’t want to look at my past, but I was so sick of it holding me back I had no choice really.

I saw why I had such low  self esteem, I realised why my relationships were all similar- awful, abusive, avoidant, emotionally absent.

Gradually, the mists cleared and I stopped feeling bereft, stopped feeling angry at everyone, started to appreciate that I was actually  bright, and my lack of self esteem was historic conditioning by people who  should have loved me and taken care of me but didn’t.

I did an introduction to counselling and discovered  that not only did I love it, I was good at it.

It was so difficult, but instead of giving up, like I always had in the past, I persevered and qualified. 

The therapist I so admired trained me  in in her techniques, so I also learned about psychotherapy and childhood trauma, and here I am today- no longer held back by my past, looking forward to the future and confidant in my abilities.

 Without that fantastic counsellor, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Counselling can be life changing.

A question I always ask my clients is “How’s your diet?” Often , the answer is “not great”.  

There is a strong link between the gut and brain, and if the brain and body are lacking in fats, vitamins, minerals, the result is poor mental and physical health.

Many clients feel satisfied by carbs, and sugar- a quick hit of happiness, followed by that sick feeling… that’s alleviated a few hours later by more of the same, so the cycle continues.

In my sessions, we look at all this. 

Ironically, I failed my food and nutrition exam at school, strange as it has been a interest and passion of mine for 30 years, but this, and a desire to get myself into some decent physical and mental shape, means shopping and cooking are a priority….but I have no time! If a meal can’t be cooked in 1 or 2 pans in 20 minutes, it doesn’t happen.

This week, I gave a client homework- he is young,he has never cooked a meal and eats lots of processed fast food, which he wants to  change. The homework was this- google Jamie oliver/easy spaghetti bolognaise and cook it for his family. Simple! Should be so easy and take no time with few ingredients. Wrong!

My client is not at this stage-it’s too complicated and takes too long, with too many ingredients.

Lots of people, myself included, are deterred and fall at the first hurdle- especially if it tasted  awful after a lot of time and expense.

In my world, I like quick and SIMPLE. Why make life complicated? This client was given my own  easy recipe and I’m looking forward to his session next week to see how he got on.

We had worked out he was very likely low in iron, which the beef would provide. Raising iron often really improves tiredness and low mood. Many many people are deficient in iron and  when it’s low, it can have a devastating effect on the brain and body. 

Brittle nails, thinning hair, exhaustion, that “can’t be bothered” feeling, dull pale skin, palpitations, shortness of breath, all clear signs of low iron. Ferritin goes hand in hand with iron, this is often an issue too. Ferritin is a protein that stores iron in cells, and iron is a mineral that helps red blood cells carry oxygen- if they are out of whack/low, the result is that the body struggles to function effectively.

So we see how low minerals can impact mental health, and unless the body is in harmony, nothing will work as it should.